What to Expect in Therapy.

When someone new contacts me, they often accompany their enquiry by saying something like ‘I’ve never done this before’ or ‘I’m a bit nervous’. It is totally understandable to be nervous about starting any form of therapy and to want to know more. So, I have made a handy information sheet that you can download to help you prepare.

But first a few tips –

1.      Firstly – well done for making the move. Wanting to get help for yourself is an act of bravery. Talking about your feelings isn’t easy and there can be a stigma associated with ‘going into therapy’ (I hope not so much these days!) however there are so many positive aspects of understanding yourself better and living a richer life.

2.      You don’t have to launch straight in – however you contact your chosen therapist, you can reveal as little or as much as you feel comfortable with. And you don’t have to meet face to face immediately – you can email or telephone too. Your comfort is priority. Many therapists offer a free telephone call or online session so that you can meet them and see if you like the look of them and how they are with you. It is important you feel comfortable.

3.      It’s helpful to know why you want to see a therapist. Mostly, something has happened in life which has brought up some feelings – bereavement, relationship issues, job loss, life transition, health issues; but it is also absolutely ok if you just want to learn more about yourself too. Knowing what you want to talk about, helps you find the right therapist – often therapists have specialist interests – bear this in mind when looking for someone. Alongside knowing your ‘why’, having an idea of what you want to achieve can be helpful, although often the therapeutic process takes you off down different roads so keeping an open mind is also important.

4.      Interview your prospective therapist. Notice how you feel when you talk to them. You need to feel safe and comfortable. Is it easy to talk to them? Do they listen? Do they have the experience you are looking for? Do they offer their experience to you so that you can make this decision? Ultimately, therapy is a relational experience, so you need to like them and feel safe with them.

5.      Think about your support network. Therapy can be hard work; new feelings can emerge, old hurts resurface – you don’t necessarily have to discuss it with anyone, but it would be good if there was someone who could support you. Sometimes this really is not possible and that might be why you are seeking therapy – in which case try to think how you can be nice to yourself – warm drinks, blankets, baths, food, rest. All very important.

Once you have decided to go ahead – then what? What happens in the therapy room?

1.      You will meet in a private room where you won’t be interrupted.  Alternatively, you may meet your therapist in an online meeting room, using software like Zoom or Teams. You might meet at the same time on the same day at a frequency to suit you – often weekly in the beginning, reducing to fortnightly and monthly as you make progress. Some therapists maintain the same appointment time for you so you have continuity, others may change your appointment times. Again, think about what is best for you.

2.      If you are doing art therapy let me say now, loudly and firmly - you do not need to have any previous experience or expertise in art. Art therapy isn’t a recreational activity or an art lesson, although the sessions can be enjoyable.

3.      In the therapy session you can either bring a specific issue or event that you want to talk about, or you can let yourself be directed by your therapist. Or you can sit and say nothing! It is your session. Additionally, there are many different approaches in therapy. Some therapists don’t talk at all and let you talk but don’t always comment, some therapists might be quite directive, whilst others will let you chose the pace. It is important for you to know what you are looking for as finding yourself in the wrong dynamic can be upsetting.

4.      If you are doing art therapy, you will make art and talk (which may be done at the same time) or you can make art in silence if that’s your preference. When making art, you can choose materials that best suit you e.g. paint, pastel or clay, or you might make a collage. This is often explored with your therapist – any materials you particularly want to use can be asked for and your therapist should provide them for you.

5.      The art therapist may sit quietly and pay attention whilst you make art or they may make art alongside you, depending on your needs during each session. You and the art therapist will also talk and think together to make sense of thoughts, feelings and experiences.

6.      Try to leave some time after your appointment (and before, if possible so you can take a breath!) so that you can allow your feelings to settle. Drink water.

This is just a brief post about some of the issues that might arise when you are considering seeing a therapist or counsellor. If you want a more detailed view, please download my ‘What To Expect in Therapy’ document – it’s free!

And drop me a comment if there is anything you want to say.